Enter credentials using our highly secure, empathy-free proprietary input system.
(Must be filled. Cannot be same letters or in alphabetical sequence. The alphabet is scrambled to test your patience.)
NOTE: If you fail to write your partner's name, you'll be a bachelor for the rest of your life.
Enter your DOB (must be before 2009) and the EXACT day of the week you were born.
There are 50 buttons. Only 1 is real. Good luck hunting.
"75% Attendance is mandatory, breathing is optional."
Due to "overwhelming demand", 1st-year boys will share a 2-seater room with 4 other people and a family of lizards. Bring your own bucket, water supply is highly conditional.
The UGC has added a new core subject: Advanced Bootlicking for Internal Marks. Practical exams will strictly test your ability to hand-write 500 pages in 10 minutes.